Sometimes, we all need something to brighten our days.

               (our hotel in Kansas...please note: I am not really a camera person)              
                     
    This just makes me smile. I love the holiday season, I can't wait to see my family next week! I love Thanksgiving because both my mother's and father's (sides of the) family come to our house for dinner. I love seeing everyone smile. Smiling is so contagious, especially when it's truly genuine. What I love most is just feeling the warmth and happiness in the air. I feel so safe and at home during this time of the year. I am so blessed to be part of such a loving family. As crazy as they can be sometimes, I wouldn't trade them for anyone else in this world.

Today I witnessed something called the "Clothesline Project". It was actually quite interesting. Survivors, or those who didn't, of abuse and rape were recognized by t-shirts that told their stories. While looking at the shirts, different sounds were made to represent statistics of abuse, rape, and murder. As I read the various t-shirts, some of the stories were truly amazing.
   What stood out to me most were those who wrote they had found God and were so grateful to be free. I commend those who are able to be so strong in their faith, and I am truly, truly thankful that I have never been tested in such a way. I think that it is totally amazing that those people are able to remain strong and faithful in times of such despair. However, I came across one shirt that flat out blamed God for everything they had been through. At that point, I stopped reading t-shirts. I was done. Of all the stories I read about rape, incest, and abuse, the shirt that insulted my God was the most offensive. I was so upset.
   I know that I cannot possibly understand how awful their situation must have been, but to blame God? Of all people, to blame the creator who loves all of us eternally? I can only hope they realize that it is not his fault this awful sin exists in our world, but our own. Adam and Eve brought sin into the world, humans brought sin into the world, NOT God. We are imperfect, as we sin on a daily basis. WE are not deserving of HIS love. God did not bring this tragedy into the world, we did; and that is something we must seek forgiveness for everyday.

   Sometimes, I need to be protected from myself. I let myself get caught up in my ideal world and sometimes, it interferes with the real world. It's not fair to God for me to wonder what his reasons are. I should automatically follow and trust him completely. Yet, I constantly find myself searching for answers, hoping for signs, when what I should really be doing is being patient. Impatience is what got me into trouble the first time, so why am I making the same mistake twice? I totally trust that God has a plan for me, of course he does. But sometimes, I create these images, visions, that may or may not come true. Sometimes, I need to be brought back down to reality because I am the only person who can hurt "me". What other people say do not matter, because I know that God will always love me. However, if I keep searching for answers that I am not meant to find, I am only hurting myself. I need to be patient. I need to stay faithful. I need to be protected. I don't want to let myself fall, even though God will catch me, I shouldn't let things escalate to that point.

                                                      2010 Scratching Post Staff!
   We attended a convention this past weekend in Kansas City. It was seriously the best field trip I have ever been on. I had such a great time, and I learned so much! I made so many memories that I will never forget! I loved every second of that weekend: plane rides, seminars, adventures, calling my sisters - you name it, I loved it! I feel like I had the opportunity to bond and learn about all of my fellow staff members. I feel so blessed that I was able to spend the weekend with such awesome people, and I cannot wait resume work on this issue of the paper! I loved everything about this trip. I am so thankful for every minute I spent in Kansas and I hope there are more group outings in the future!

& sometimes I wonder what you're thinking.

   I am thankful that I have something, anything, to be thankful for. I'm glad that I have a God who listens to me and a home that welcomes me. I am especially grateful that I have the privilege of attending church every Sunday, I have a place of worship where no one can tell me I'm wrong. I live in a world where I can have a different opinion, and I am justified. Even when things are going downhill, I know that they will start moving uphill sometime in the future. Downhill is only an adventure given to me to test my faith. I can't say I enjoy such an adventure, but I know I can only become stronger from it. I am just thankful to be thankful, thankful to be heard, thankful to be saved.


   "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
                                                                                          Romans 5:8

Why.

   Christianity is more than just a set of beliefs for me, Christianity is my faith and a lifestyle choice I have made and completely commit to. The Nicene Creed outlines the basic principles of Christianity: “I believe in one God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible…” (The Nicene Creed). In Sunday school, when I was taught the Creed, my teacher told me that if anyone ever asked me what I believed, I should recite the Creed to them. When I wondered why I should ever have to memorize this or even want to recite these words to anyone, I realized that God extends His glory and offers His love to every person on this earth. God loves everyone, and as a Christian, I have an obligation to share His joy with the world; I would be selfish to keep His love to myself (Primicerio). I find His love to be incredibly overwhelming: God loves me. No matter what I do, He will never turn his back on me. I do not deserve His compassion, for I am a sinner, imperfect; but he shows mercy on me anyway. Because of His magnitude, I try my best to live a life that reflects the life of Jesus. I can only maintain such a lifestyle if I have faith in God. By living my life for God and expressing humility, I will consistently grow closer to Him, and He will give me the strength I need to share His love with others. His love can be expressed through my every day actions; I am merely an act dancing on an enormous stage, performing for the world and hoping that I can show them the glory of God (Primicerio). With all that God has given me and will continue to present to me, the least I can do is live my life for Him and not myself.

   As a Christian, I look at the world with an entirely different perspective. In today’s society, passing judgment and holding hatred toward another is not uncommon. Too often, people take one look at a person and decide he or she is a snob, poor, unintelligent, rude, a criminal, the list continues without an end. Despite the judgments people pass, Matthew 4:44-45, 48 says, “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven…Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”  Not only does this verse advocate that love should be expressed for all humankind, but the idea of living a Godly life is reinstated as well; living out each day in God’s footsteps and in His name, I can show Him that I truly am grateful for everything He has done for me. If all humans were created in God’s image, why then, do too many people in this world feel they are better than others? Why bother wasting time feeling angry and upset with someone when reconciling could bring joy for a lifetime. Matthew 7:2 says, “For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get.” God treats all of His children equally, and everyone has a place in His heart. I want to live every day with no regrets, and accepting people for who they are is key to achieving this goal. By hating another human, animal, or an element of nature, I would hate one of God’s creations. Everything God created has a special kind of beauty and a specific purpose: I am in no position to question His will.

   Understanding God’s plan can be an extremely difficult task. Patience. In order to be Christian, I have found that I need to have patience. Throughout the course of life, various circumstances arise that may cause myself, or a person in general, to question God’s will or simply feel alone. Death, sickness, and crime. What could God be trying to communicate? Every day poses a new challenge that can seem impossible to overcome. I have been in situations that have left me confused and conflicted, and I honestly do not know where to turn. As I think about my problems, I remember I am never alone. God will never turn his back on me, He loves me unconditionally, and He will forever guide my path. Psalm 23:1, 4 says, “The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want…Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff – they comfort me.” Metaphors exist throughout the Bible and stress the importance of God’s influence; as a shepherd, God guides the path of those who choose to follow him. I have no reason to be afraid of the future because God always has a plan, even when I do not. Matthew 6:34 says, “So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Trying to look too far ahead will not strengthen my relationship with God or provide me with answers. The only solution to worrying and impatience is prayer. Nothing will ever be too complicated or insignificant in His eyes.

   “Ask and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened,” (Matthew 7:7-8). God always has a plan and He will always provide. Although I am unworthy of His love and His mercy, He shares with me anyway. He is selfless and accepts all children in His kingdom. I cannot thank Him enough for all He has given me and all that He will give me. His love is never ending, and for that I am eternally grateful; I feel blessed that I was able to connect with Him at such an early age. Without a doubt, I would not be even half the person I am today if I had never experienced God’s love. Nothing in this world is more powerful.

My sisters are hilarious. While sometimes, doing my homework is totally impossible due to the ridiculous noise level, but some days, I really like the entertainment. Having a four year old has its us and downs, and today I saw both. It was hilarious to watch her disagree with everything my sister, Alina, said. It really made me cheer up a bit. I love them both dearly and I can't imagine what I would do without them. I am really grateful that I have so many people in my house that I can turn to for advice. I love them all and I couldn't ask for anyone better.

I am grateful to have numerous people in my life who share my beliefs. I feel like I always have someone to talk to when I am unsure or confused. God provides.