Although I have absolutely no idea what is going to happen, and I am totally and completely frustrated, I have so much to be thankful for. These past few days, I have been studying poverty and the impact it has around the globe. I have realized that I am truly blessed to have even a home. I have a family who supports me and a God who loves me. I am grateful that I do not have to sleep on a pad in a foreign place every night or wonder where I will find my next meal. I don't think I have ever appreciated my house as much as I have over the past few days. I am just thankful to be who I am, even if that means dealing with the messy imperfections.

No. It's really not okay anymore, actually, it never was. Seriously, I'm sick of this.

NEW.

TODAY: Instead of listing three things that I am thankful for, I am going to list one thing each day & say why I am thankful for that.

1.) I am thankful that I had the privilege in participating in cross country this year. It was an incredibly amazing season. I was taking times at the Sectional race today and everybody did a fantastic job! I had so much fun at practice every single day: I looked forward to the 3:15 bell because I knew that I would see my teammates soon after it rang. I am also thankful that I had such amazing coaches. They were extremely supportive throughout each and every race. I don't think my high school experience would be the same without this sport. Today was the last of my xc days, and although I'm incredibly sad, I'm also really happy to have all of the wonderful and happy memories that I do. I am closer with a lot of people from my team that I probably never would have met if I did not join, and I am also so much closer with my sister. That is certainly something to rejoice about! I love that I can tell her just about anything, and I really hope she feels the same. Overall, I'd say that joining cross country was one of the best decisions I have made during high school.

Volunteering.

   After volunteering at PADS a few nights ago, I am much more grateful for what I do have. I love my bed, my clothes, my blankets, and especially the fact that I have a home. I am so grateful to be blessed with a loving family supported by a stable income. I am glad that I don't have to move from shelter to shelter.
   Setting up beds and serving meals to those who were staying for the night really opened my eyes. Everyone I served food to was so grateful to be at the shelter. I realized that I am not always as grateful as I should be about being at my own home. I have so many luxuries and privileges that I don't appreciate as much as I should. That is going to change...
(to be continued)

Friday (late again).

1.) Friday... It was so nice to finally be done with the week. I felt totally relieved, even though I have a lot of homework to do & such, it was nice to just relax and have fun.

2.) I am thankful that I have the strength and help from God to make positive life decisions.

3.) Things are improving... I am being patient... I'm just glad that I know God has a plan for me.

1.) Today, I volunteered at a local PADS sight. It was a really uplifting experience, and I realize how fortunate I am to have what I do. I am just grateful to live where I do and own what I own...
(follow up soon to come)

2.) I am slowly returning back to normal. I don't know how long this process will take or what challenges I may face... But I am making progress.

3.) God is always watching out for me. I can feel his presence when I smile or remember something that makes me wince. I love that I know he is there. I never have to feel alone.

Trust take two.

   I told myself I understood God's plan, or at least part of it, and I do... I think. I trust him, because I know that he will provide me with what I need. I will never be alone or left with a situation I am not capable of dealing with. I just wish that I could know... I know I need to be patient, but sometimes, it's really difficult to wait for something that might not even be worth waiting for. I know that in the end things will work out and whatever happens is for the best, but I can't help but wonder what "the best" thing really is. All I can do is wait, all I ever do is wait. I suppose that waiting is something I am used to at this point. So, in the grand scheme of things, what's a little longer?

   What's funny is while writing this, I feel like God gave me just what I needed. Something just kind of clicked... and I know things will work out. I have trust, I do. God works in mysterious ways, it's amazing. I can't even begin to comprehend the God's knowledge and the love he has for me. All I know is that as long as I stick with him, He will provide.


                        thank you, God, for always having an answer and never turning Your back.

1.) I am really enjoying writing my causal analysis paper. It keeps me thinking about why I believe the way I do and challenges me to stay strong with my faith.

2.) My sister is hilarious. She can always put a smile on my face when I'm feeling down.

3.) I am having a much better week than last week... I'm trusting God and things seem to be going well.

you may be the reason that I smile, but you're also the reason that I don't.