figuring things out.

   I didn't expect anything, I didn't expect you. At first, I was careless, just letting myself be happy & not thinking about the future. Then, I started to look at reality & convinced myself I didn't like you and didn't want to be with you. I was afraid of actually caring, because I knew how it felt to be hurt. I was so used to trapping myself in my own negativity and shutting the rest of the world out. Somehow, despite everything I thought, everything I said, I wasn't ready, I wasn't able to let you go. I didn't want to not have you in my life. I stayed. I stayed because some part of me knew that if I left, you would be gone forever, and I knew I couldn't have that.
   As time went on, I learned more about you. The more I learned, the more I wanted to know. The more I knew, the more I started to fall for you. I was worried at first. We're very different, yet very much alike. I don't think have never met anyone who cares for me the way way I know you do. I can just see it the way you look at me. I know I get angry or annoyed with you, but I know you try really hard to make me happy, and I know you're always thinking of me. That's what is so great about you. You're the sweetest guy I've ever met, and I never feel like I have to hide when I'm with you. I think you're amazing. I think you're wonderful. I don't know what the future holds, but I know that right now, in this moment, at this time, I love you; and I thank God for you everyday. I know that no matter what happens, I will never forget you.