peace.

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you."

 Isaiah 26:3

   Reality can be extremely overwhelming. With break being so short this year, I feel like I am pressed for time and I shouldn't be relaxing or enjoying myself. On the other hand, it seems totally ridiculous not to enjoy break because it is the only time of the year (aside from summer) in which an extended period time is given to be away from school.

    Because I haven't been spending every waking second stressing about this paper and that assignment, I've had the chance to really look at my life. Christmas was rather enjoyable this year. Seeing my family together and happy really put things in perspective for me. I know I say this quite often, but I realized how much I have to be grateful for. My relatives were healthy, we had a delicious, home-cooked meal, and people were just happy.

   This year  has flown by too fast. I look back and I think about everything I have done and everything I have seen and I thank God for blessing me in more ways than one. Though there have been some difficult situations and events, I also have made some really awesome memories. I think that all of the pleasant times seem to cancel out the unpleasant ones. In the end, after all is said and done, everything works out the way God intended it to, and I could not be more grateful for that.

Merry Christmas!

Mother Dearest & all her girls (+Kosta)

Olivia can make anyone laugh with her singing. I find her to be quite talented.

Love.

   Sometimes, the moment we stop looking into the future and start living in the present, we find exactly what we are looking for. When I finally decided to stop thinking about possibilities and the various solutions to my problems, I found peace with myself. I prayed every night and asked God for answers. However, when I stopped asking for answers and strated finding happiness in my life, I found everything I needed.
   Times like these, I feel God walking with me. Times like these, I feel safe. Times like these remind me that God really does know what is best for me, and He only wants me to trust Him. For what kind of a relationship can I have with God if I do not trust Him? What makes God most happy is seeing His people have faith and putting Him first.
   I feel so blessed to be living my life. There certainly have been times, even recently, in which I was weary of what the future held; though in the end, I've realized that I have been given a great gift. I have God's love. I have God's guidance. His light will guide my path and I will never be left alone. As long as I follow Him, I can never go wrong. It's quite comforting.
   This Christmas, I am happier than I've been in quite some time. My life makes sense, my family is hilarious, and everyone around me is so cheery. I cannot imagine anything that could possibly make this Christmas any better. I love this feeling of understanding and acceptance. This peace of mind is such a new concept for me, it's hard to believe that it's real.



   Sometimes, I wonder if this new reality is all in my head, and then I laugh at myself for thinking such a thing because when thinking this, I am, in a way, questioning God. God will never give me challenges I cannot handle. I have realized that the hardships I have faced have truly made me a stronger person. Without those experiences, I would not be the person I am today.
   I needed to see how easy it was to be led astray from God. At the time, I certainly wished I could turn back time and change what had happened. However, I now realize that it was all necessary. I needed to know that God is greater than me, and I need to make Him my first priority. I would not have the same relationship with Him that I do now if things had worked out differently.
   Now, I have a clearer understanding of "the reason" I had searched for. I have learned so much about not only myself, but my faith as well. Looking back, I can honestly say I have seen a change in myself. I have seen myself grow closer to God, and I am incredibly grateful for that. So, I suppose, I am actually thankful for the hardships I have endured, for the most certainly have made me stronger.
   God is always looking out for me, and I will never doubt Him because I will always feel His presence. He is there to listen when I'm sad and to rejoice when I'm glad. I am a sinner walking in a fallen world, feeling the love of a King who is watching from me from a perfect Heaven.

"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him."

1 John 4:16

Sleepovers.

You're the apple to my pie, the straw to my berry♥

ohmygosh. your the button to my sweater.

 the horse to my shoe.

 the teeth to my smile.

 the contact to my eye

 the mouse to my keyboard.

 the butter to my fly

the battery to my calculator.

the leap to my frog.

 the row to my boat.

the santa to my clause.

 the bubble to my scantron.

the adobe to my reader. 

 the Internet to my explorer.

the vampire to my diaries.

I love being on winter break and having sleepovers with my best friend.

Peace.

  

"Therefore being justified by
faith, we have peace with
God through our Lord
Jesus Christ"
Romans 5:1

 
   Sometimes, overwhelming schedules seem to dominate our lives. Sometimes, we do not see what is right in front of us because we are too preoccupied with matters that don't necessarily matter.

    Babies. Babies are so simple and so innocent. After an extremely stressful day, I went to pick my sisters up from my Yiayia's. While there, I was asked to hold Eleni. As I rocked her back and forth, so many of my worries seemed to fade away. She is so adorable, and holding her made me realize how easy it is to become too entangled in the real world. Sometimes, we need to take a step back from our lives and look at the bigger picture.

Sometimes, we just need to take a break

from the chaos and remember what we have

been blessed with.



Understanding.

   Because of God, I am happy. Because of God, I have patience. Because of God, I have found peace. I am thankful. for every hardship I have experienced, for it has only made me stronger.

   Difficulties force us to rely on God. They are a reminder that we cannot accomplish everything in this life on our own. The moments of happiness remind us to rejoice in God, for without Him, we would not have them. In order to have balance, we must understand that a balance between challenges and understandings are always present. One cannot exist without the other.

   At the time, I cannot say I was happy with every hurdle I had to cross, but in the end, I realized that it was worth it. If everything worked out perfectly, would I have turned to God and rejoiced? I would like to think I would have, but I cannot be sure. If God had not challenged me as He did, I am not sure if my faith would be as strong as it now is. As much as it hurt to go through each day with sadness, without those days of sadness, I would not have found the happiness already in my life.

   When something goes wrong, we immediately look for ways to fix the problem, instead of looking at the things in our lives that are going right. I realized that aside from my "burdens", I had so much to be grateful for. God has blessed me in more ways than one. I know now that I needed to realize how lucky I am to be one of His children to be happy. I was looking for happiness in the wrong places.
   I gave everything I worried about to God. I was broken, I was imperfect, I was a mess. God picked me up and pieced me back together. God fixed me and gave me understanding. God opened my eyes to the life that was always in front of me. God gave me happiness, and He made sense of the sadness. God guided me through the darkness, and I am continuing to follow His light. His gifts are above all other gifts. His love is the most wonderful and precious gift of all.

Paolella.

   I miss you girls so much! You are all so amazing and hilarious. After only one week together, I was able to learn so much about each and every one of you! I miss having dance parties at two in the morning and making campaign posters with glitter. I miss being late to county meetings and watching people get foot cramps. I miss staying awake during assemblies, but most of all, I miss seeing all of you!

   I hope that you girls are all having an amazing senior year, and I wish you the best of luck next year. I know you will all shine wherever you are. This experience is one I will not soon forget. Meeting all of you was such a blessing and I am grateful to have had such a pleasure. Thank you all for making such a lasting impression and making IGS such a memorable week!

Grams.

   After speaking with my grandma last night, I realized that there is so much I don't know about her. She really is fantastic, and she has so much knowledge to share. She has traveled to places I never imagined she had and she has the best outlook on life of anyone I have ever met. I truly believe that I could learn so much from her. When I wondered why she had never shared any of this with me before, I realized that I had never asked.

   Too often in our lives, we take people for granted. I certainly have taken my grandma for granted. I love spending time with her and seeing her, but I never really asked her about her life. She always asks me how I'm doing, and it has become so easy for me to tell her everything going on in my life. I hardly ever ask about hers or what activities interest her.

   For the second Christmas in a row, my grandma will be in Florida. Christmas without her here is not the same. Last year, all I could think about was how weird it would be for me to not see my grandma on Christmas. I didn't think about how  hard it was for her to have to spend the holiday season away from her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

   I have noticed that I have been a bit of a selfish person this past year. I have been thinking about what I can do to improve "my life" and make the days easier for me. I sigh and drag my feet when it comes to chores around the house or errands for my parents. I claim to be grateful for the things I have, but my actions do not particularly show that. My logic is a bit hypocritical.

   I find it strange that after a half hour of talking to my grandma, I found so many flaws with the way I have been living my life. What I found to be most interesting from our conversation was the fact that she had difficulties saying anything negative about anyone. She only spoke of the "good times" and positive memories. Even when she did mention hardships, she treated them as if they were minor obstacles in the grand scheme of life.
   While I was writing her answers, I wondered how she managed to stay so positive and keep such an optimistic look on life. Then I realized, she is so strong with her faith. Where there is faith, there are no worries or hardships, there are only minor obstacles. She need not dwell on the negative when there were so many better things and happy memories to recall.
   If everyone had the same mindset as grams, the world would be such a happy place. I can only hope that I can look at life the way she does. She is so joyful all the time, and her smiles really are contagious. I love how she laughs at anything I (or my sisters, cousins, etc.) say and the way she always has something nice to say about even the meanest people. She doesn't like to see the "bad" in people. She gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, no matter what they do. She truly is an inspiration, and I certainly will be making more of an effort to stay in touch with her.


Thanks for being such an amazing role model! I love you grams!



"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

Philippians 2:3-4

 But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful.

Psalm 68:3

   Times like these remind me that God really is looking out for me. When the smile seems to stay and the sadness fades away, I pray. I praise God because I know that without Him, I have nothing. Without God, I am nothing. He has extended to me happiness although I am undeserving, he loves me unconditionally although I am unworthy. My problems are no more important than my neighbor's. My troubles are not a priority. I am a sinner just as everyone else who walks this earth. In no way am I perfect or close to it, yet God still cares. I am so insignificant, yet He answers my prayers. Without Him, there is no me. Without Him, there is no world. Without him, there is no happiness, there is no suffering. Nothing amazes me more than His glory. I am no one special, but in God's eyes, I am His child. He gives me more than I deserve. I am not worthy of His love. I am not worthy of His grace. All I can do is praise Him. I thank Him for everything he has given me, every person I have met, every hardship I have encountered. I would not be the person today if I had not been guided by God. For that, I am eternally grateful.

   I am quite displeased with the affect "presents" have on people these days. People practically pull their hair out trying to pay for "the perfect gift". It's absurd! People spend a fortune on the holidays. Have they forgotten what  Christmas is all about? Purchasing presents has seemed to overshadow the true meaning of Christmas. Christmas is a holiday to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. Christmas IS NOT an excuse to ask for fancy items and shiny toys we don't even need. I am not trying to say that gift giving is a terrible crime, but giving the wrong gifts for the wrong reasons is certainly not right. When you give someone a gift this holiday season, think of the message you are sending with that gift. Is it what you had hoped to accomplish? Are you satisfied with what you have put together? Will this gift be a memorable one? I hope that your gift giving has some meaning and depth behind it. I think all of us can think twice about not only the manner in which we give gifts, but also the manner in which we receive them. This Christmas, think humility, joy, and gratefulness.



"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!"

Luke 2:14

"I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation, he has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels"

Isaiah 61:10

Because God always has a plan. He will always listen. He will always provide. Not a day passes in which He does not wish to hear the worries or praises of His children.

He is love.

The Magi.



   How many times do we put our own selfish needs before those of others? All too often. Though we may claim that we are "willing to give up the world" for another soul, do we really mean that? If true happiness and unconditional love are rare treasures, how many of us actually seek them out? How many of us actually care about finding them? How many of us, once we have found them, take them for granted?

(link to story) The Gift of the Magi

   The Gift of the Magi tells a beautiful story. Both Della and Jim sacrifice what they love most in the world so that they may afford the "prefect gift" for one another. Della sells her long, elegant, brown hair in exchange for money to buy a chain for her husband's pocket watch. Jim sells his family heirloom, the golden pocket watch (which he loved dearly and was never seen without), to buy a set of gorgeous, turquoise combs for his wife's luscious hair.

   On Christmas day, the two exchange gifts and realize what has happened. They have sacrificed what they loved most so that they may show their affection towards one another. However, neither can actually use the gifts they have bought for one another. The two of them had no money whatsoever, but they realized they  had love and wisdom. Of all the people who give gifts during the holiday season, they are the wisest of them all.

   Della and Jim are a perfect example of people who truly understand the art of gift-giving. They were willing to put the needs of others before their own. They were willing to sacrifice their most prized possessions because they truly loved one another. They found that although their gifts could not be used, they were far greater than any other gift anyone else could receive or give. 

   While Della and Jim had little to nothing on that Christmas, they were richer than any person I know. They had each other. They had more than most people do these days, and they were thankful for what they did have. Della and Jim gave and received the most precious gift of all. The two of them are far wiser than anyone shopping this holiday season. They are indeed, the magi. 





My colors.



The most wonderful time of the year with the most wonderful girls.
"Friends are like colors, they never fade away"
(true friends that is. & all of you are the truest of friends and the brightest of colors)
thank you.

    I am so blessed. I could not ask for a better group of [close, old] friends. Although many of us knew each other long before, seventh grade was when we truly became close friends. I honestly do not know what I would do without you all. Whenever I need someone to talk to, you [all] are always there. I cannot imagine what my life would be like if I never met you.
   You girls made me feel like I was part of something real. There is no doubt in my mind that this friendship will last long after high school. I think that it is totally amazing that we have been able to stick it out through "thick & thin". I love you girls so much and I want to thank you for being such great friends.
   I know I can trust you with anything and count on you to be there for me. I love how we can be lazy bums, obnoxiously energetic, or even tired and crabby and still be able to hang out. I don't have to pretend to be anyone or put on a fake front when I'm around you all. I feel most like myself when I'm around you because I know you won't judge me.
   Everything is hilarious when I'm with you girls and nothing is ever too minuscule. You understand when I'm mad, sad, happy, glad... I love we all know each other well enough that sometimes, we don't even need words to communicate how we're feeling. I love how easily we all get along and how hard it is to stay mad at each other. I think I've learned the true meaning of friendship from meeting all of you.
   I hope you all know that you mean the world to me. When I look at my pictures, I remember all of the amazing times we've had together. I don't recall a time where the evening did not end with laughter. Sure, we've had our differences, but in the end, it's all been worth it. I am so grateful to have met each and every one of you and I want to thank all of you for being heartfelt, understanding, and truly amazing friends.
   No matter where we are next year, I will always have our memories with me. No matter the distance, I know we'll be close in heart. I wish you all the best of luck next year, but remember, we are never really apart.

With it being the holiday season and all, I think you girls should know you've given me the greatest gift of all.

I love you girls. I am so blessed to have you in my life.

I am looking forward to seeing you all tomorrow!

One day, I will look back and laugh at all the tears I shed.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me."

John 14:1 (NRSV)



Christmas IS NOT about the presents. Seriously.
I think too many people have lost sight of what
this holiday is all about.

It's moments like this that truly define our friendship.
So yeah, just thanks. & This looks pretty real to me.

The now.

   I've done some thinking, and I have come to a realization. I am the problem. No, I am my problem. My mood depends on my attitude. Because of my own negative attitude, I am not always as happy or cheerful as I should be.
   I have decided to change my attitude. I realized that in 10,20,30,etc. years from now, none of my worries now will matter. No one is going to care about how I styled my hair or what dress I wore on October 15th, so there is no reason to worry about such matters. I decided that instead of living in my life, I am going to actively live my life.
   I am going to be a light in this world. God made me. God loves me. I am tired of letting my sulkiness forget that. I am going to live as a child of God should: happy and "carefree". I can give my worries to God, and He will provide me with what I need to survive. I know that one day, I will be "happy", but I can still be "happy" now. I do not need materialistic items or ideological views to feel better about myself. I am going to live, be free, and most importantly, be myself. God loves me for who I am. If I don't believe myself to be worth something, why should I expect other people to?
   I just want to say a special thank you to my uncle. While visiting this past weekend, he noted that I had my phone with me during the evenings. He told me that whatever I was doing won't seem all that important 10 years from now. "None of it matters." He told me that I shouldn't let myself get so caught up in something that wouldn't really matter in a few years. He also told me that he understood if I didn't want to listen to him, because he himself did not follow this advice. "I wish someone had told me this when I was your age..." That's what every adult always says. I listened to him, but even though I knew he was right, I continued whatever I was doing. I had told myself that before too, but I never really listened. I sort of tucked it in the back of my mind, thinking, it's just so important to me now... I want to fix the now.
   I have decided to "take his advice" in a way. I am going to stop searching for answers and stop trying to fix what I have broken. I have done all that I can. I am going to give myself a break, I am going to be free. Whatever happens will happen. Instead of waiting for the future, I will enjoy my time in the present. I cannot change the past, so I'm going to fix the present before it's too late. I don't want to look back on my life and think, did I really do that? What was I thinking? Why couldn't I have just done this...? From now on, I am changing my attitude. It starts with a smile. After all, smiling is contagious.
   I will slowly pick up the pieces of myself that I have shattered, and one day, I will be me again.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God,what is good and acceptable and perfect."

                                                                        Romans 12:2 (NRSV)