As I reflect on everything I've learned this year and all I thought I learned in years before, I realize there is no use in blaming your past self for not knowing what you know now. How can I be sad or disappointed with myself for being happy? At the time, I truly was happy, but things change and people grow apart. It does not mean that there was never any happiness. Sometimes, it's easier not to think about that, because when you do, you remember how happy you once were and you wonder where it all went wrong. You wonder why it had to be this way, you wonder how someone could do that to you. Some days are easier than others, but ultimately I take comfort in knowing that if I truly was happy with every aspect of my past, I wouldn't be at this point in my future. I think somehow I knew that it could never be, because no matter what, there was always something to fight about, something to fix, something to change. That's no way to live, and that's no way to love.
It makes me sad to think that after so long it ended the way it did, but I also take comfort in knowing I am strong enough to be on my own and I am capable of making my own path. When you spend so long having a plan and doing everything you can to be happy, are you really happy? What fun is it if you're always trying to ensure you're happy? Shouldn't you just be happy? As I continue to move forward, I know what I want and I know what truly does make me happy. While I will always seek to love others and offer kindness towards a stranger, I know that the people I choose to keep in my life are the people who will ultimately shape my perspective and my decisions. Moving forward, I know that things can only go up, and while starting over is one of the hardest things to do, I think that having a completely fresh start in a new city will be the opportunity I need to start over. What better way to make a new life for yourself than actually making a completely new life for yourself? Despite everything that has happened this year, I am grateful for all of my experiences, and I am truly looking forward to the next chapter of my life.
It makes me sad to think that after so long it ended the way it did, but I also take comfort in knowing I am strong enough to be on my own and I am capable of making my own path. When you spend so long having a plan and doing everything you can to be happy, are you really happy? What fun is it if you're always trying to ensure you're happy? Shouldn't you just be happy? As I continue to move forward, I know what I want and I know what truly does make me happy. While I will always seek to love others and offer kindness towards a stranger, I know that the people I choose to keep in my life are the people who will ultimately shape my perspective and my decisions. Moving forward, I know that things can only go up, and while starting over is one of the hardest things to do, I think that having a completely fresh start in a new city will be the opportunity I need to start over. What better way to make a new life for yourself than actually making a completely new life for yourself? Despite everything that has happened this year, I am grateful for all of my experiences, and I am truly looking forward to the next chapter of my life.
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