a new year, a new beginning

I've been here at Illinois State for about a month and I absolutely love it. I love the campus, I love the people, I love my apartment, I just love being happy. I will say that I miss all of my friends & sisters at Marquette, but I don't miss Marquette. I don't miss Milwaukee, I don't miss the noise, I don't miss the Milwaukee Public Transit, I don't miss the small campus, I don't miss feeling lost. 

I feel like I belong here, I feel part of something, I feel so much happier here than I ever did at Marquette. I am scared, though. I'm scared of falling behind or losing myself. Everything is so different here, it's out of my norm and usual comfort zone; but that's exactly what I was looking for. I need somewhere that I can be comfortable being uncomfortable, and I've found that here. 

I have a fresh start, a new beginning, a new place to make friends and keep the old. I love the fresh air and the open space. I love sitting on the quad and taking in the beauty all around me. I love this feeling. 

I am looking forward to everything these next two and a half years have to offer, I know I'll be happy here, and I know I made the right decision.

I do miss my family. It's harder being further away. It's probably a good thing though. I need to build a life and community with people here. I don't want to want to leave. I want to be here and be happy about it. I want to miss being here over semester breaks. I want to feel like I am at home away from home.

I am looking forward to the different clubs I am a part of. I joined a service fraternity, and I'm really excited to help out the community and make new friends along the way. I'm part of the honors program, which has really motivated me to work hard and keep my grades up. I'm joining some different teacher organizations which will be really helpful when I start looking for student teaching positions. I'm also looking for a Christian community to join because I really want to feel connected and have people I can talk to and grow with.

While this was a drastic change and something completely new, I do not have any regrets. I only wish that I could share my experiences with my Grams. I miss her more and more every day. When I join a new club or walk to classes, I wish I could call her and tell her all about it. I know she sees how happy I am and she's always with me, but it's hard not being able to talk to her. It's hard knowing she's not here anymore. I know this feeling is never going to go away, but that's okay. I'd rather remember the happy moments even if it makes me sad. I'd rather have her with me in my heart, even if it reminds me I don't have her with me on earth. I know she is the best guardian angel I could have ever asked for. I'm also sad that I won't have Sister Joan around to make me smile and giggle over the holidays and teach me family history in a way only she knows how. I'm happy to have them both as guardian angels, but life here without them will never be the same. I miss them and love them both very much.

I would like to thank God for giving me the opportunity to challenge myself and  find happiness where I was least expecting it. I am so grateful to be here, and I know I could not be where I am today if I did not have my faith as the foundation for my life.