What if everything just stopped? What if time froze? What if, for just one minute, you step out of your life and actually see the world? Sometimes, I find myself so caught up in the chaos of everyday life, I forget to take a step back and actually look at the life I'm living, the kind of person I am.
One of the things that scares me most in this world is that I will turn into somebody I'm not. Sometimes I wonder if the person I am is in fact the person I want to be. Losing myself is one of the easiest things to do without even realizing what's happening. I'm away at school. I'm surrounded by totally different people who don't know who I am, who know nothing about me. It's kind of crazy to think about. I can be anyone I want, though, I don't really know what that means. Does that mean I don't want to be who I am, or does that mean I'm not who I want to be?
What's interesting is sometimes, I don't feel like I know who I am. When I look at my life, I see countless blessings and joys, so many different things I have to be grateful for, yet I find myself wanting more. I am so selfish; sometimes, I have difficulty having patience with the people I love or finding time to do what I love. Sometimes I sacrifice some of the most important parts of my life for reasons I don't even know. It's ridiculous.
All that is going to change, now. I'm in college now, and like I said, it's a new beginning, a fresh start, a new me. I'm more than willing to do whatever it takes to re-establish that sense of closeness and the strong connection I once felt to my faith. I'll admit, I don't feel as connected as I once did, and that seriously bothers me. I don't know what is wrong with me or what happened, but I do know I'm going to fix that. I'm going to ensure that I get back on track and make time for God. He is the most important being in my life, therefore, He should be my number one priority, and starting now, He will be.
One of the things that scares me most in this world is that I will turn into somebody I'm not. Sometimes I wonder if the person I am is in fact the person I want to be. Losing myself is one of the easiest things to do without even realizing what's happening. I'm away at school. I'm surrounded by totally different people who don't know who I am, who know nothing about me. It's kind of crazy to think about. I can be anyone I want, though, I don't really know what that means. Does that mean I don't want to be who I am, or does that mean I'm not who I want to be?
What's interesting is sometimes, I don't feel like I know who I am. When I look at my life, I see countless blessings and joys, so many different things I have to be grateful for, yet I find myself wanting more. I am so selfish; sometimes, I have difficulty having patience with the people I love or finding time to do what I love. Sometimes I sacrifice some of the most important parts of my life for reasons I don't even know. It's ridiculous.
All that is going to change, now. I'm in college now, and like I said, it's a new beginning, a fresh start, a new me. I'm more than willing to do whatever it takes to re-establish that sense of closeness and the strong connection I once felt to my faith. I'll admit, I don't feel as connected as I once did, and that seriously bothers me. I don't know what is wrong with me or what happened, but I do know I'm going to fix that. I'm going to ensure that I get back on track and make time for God. He is the most important being in my life, therefore, He should be my number one priority, and starting now, He will be.
"For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace."
1 Corinthians 14:33
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