Look forward, not back. Think about what can be done, not why something did not happen. Be concerned not with others, but yourself. Think about what you can do to better your own situation, not what others have done to hinder it. Things happen for reasons we are unaware of. Everything has a way of working out. Faith, trust, love, and strength through God can solve any problem.

Happy Birthday.

Happy Birthday to the world’s most beautiful woman. I only wish I had the opportunity to celebrate it with you. I know that this is the first birthday for you, in quite some time, that you are able to celebrate pain-free and in a place of peace. I know it’s been almost three months now, but I remember everything like it was yesterday. I miss you grams, I have trouble picturing my future and the ups and down it holds without having you by my side. I wish you could be here with me when I graduate college, when I start my first job, when I walk down the aisle, when I have my first child, when I take another step forward in my life. I really wish I could share it with you. You were always ecstatic to hear about my day or what I had to say no matter how insignificant it may have been. Two years ago, my sisters and I wrote you letters for your birthday. I keep mine in my wallet now, I was so surprised you kept them, considering I hadn’t remembered even writing my own. Every little thing mattered so much to you. The reason you were able to stay positive despite the circumstances is because you only saw the beauty in life. You only saw everything wonderful, you were not phased by the little things, you were not upset by life’s minor detours. You constantly proved to me that happiness can overcome all feelings of anger if that happiness is supported with love. The love you’ve shown for every person you were in contact with is incredible. I’m still in awe with your patience, compassion, and infinite understanding. Grandma, I love you. Happy birthday to you, I’m so happy that you are in a place of comfort and peace, though I will always hold a bit of sadness that you cannot be here with me.

I'd love for you to make me wonder...

... where it's going.

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you? Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you?
...Finding someone else you can't get enough of, someone who wants to be with you too...


Even if we're sure, we're never really be certain of what the future holds for us. I'm so excited to embark on this journey with you. I'm so happy to have found you and to know that you feel as strongly about me as I feel about you. Although we fight, it makes us stronger, I know that whatever the future holds, I will always have you with me to help me through it, because no matter how much we argue or how I angry I am with you, not being with you would be far too painful to endure over a few fights. I'm not sure what will happen to us, but I know that whatever does, we are able to embrace the future together.

you need to understand that we're apart. you need to understand that I love you. you need to understand that I do care. you need to understand that because we're apart, I can't always be there exactly when you need, but I do try. you need to understand that because I love you, because I care about you that things will be okay. if you don't trust me, if you freak out, if you cause problems, that only hinders our relationship. it prevents us from growing together, it prevents us from moving forward, it prevents us from being happy. it's impossible to talk when we can't reason, and it's impossible to reason when we're both upset. please, for me, try to stay calm. please, for me, know that I love you and that if you truly love & trust me, you wouldn't do this. okay, darling? please, just know that for me.

Cheers.

Cheers to the most beautiful woman I have ever me. Cheers to the most wonderful lady to walk the earth. Cheers to the kind of mother I hope to be. Cheers to the world's greatest grandmother. Cheers to a beautiful soul, a beautiful soul that is in peace now, a beautiful soul that is no longer in pain. Cheers to the woman I aspire to be. Cheers to you, grams, cheers to you.

happy little things.

Today was a good day, no today is a good day. I can't wait for everything the future holds; spring break, formal, our anniversary. I'm so excited to spend my days with you. I love you. Thank you for all that you do.

sisterhood, friendship.

it's important to have people in your life that you are comfortable being around. it's important to know who your friends are and to know what makes you happy. it's important to know who will stand by your side, through thick and thin. it's important to know who will always treat you right, even when it isn't easy.

Valentine's Day.

It's valentine's day & I miss you. I wish you were here. I wish I was there. I wish I could see you whenever I want. I wish I could hold you, kiss you, hug you, cuddle, snuggle all the time. When I walk around campus and see other couples, a little tiny part of my cries on the inside because I wish that could be us. It pains me to see couples who don't treat one another right, who don't understand how great they have it, who don't cherish their time, who don't make use of their time, who don't realize how lucky they are. 

If you were here or I were there, I would hold you, see you everyday, give you infinite hugs and kisses, cuddle fest every night, snuggle fest every weekend, go on dates, study with you, talk to you, just be happy with you. I miss you, love. I am so thankful to have you in my life, but I'm also so saddened that we are so far apart. 

Thank you for never leaving my side & always promising to fight. To fight for me, to fight for us, to fight for love, our love, our relationship, our future. I love you more than words can say, and I'm so happy to have you in my life on this Valentine's day.

my best friend.

I love that even though we are miles & miles apart, I love how we can still talk to each other about anything. I miss you, girl! I also love how we have such relatable problems/situations... It makes me so happy. I am so glad that we are still friends, & I know that we will always be best friends. I love you! & You'll definitely be in my wedding. You're always there when I need to talk, no matter how weird or crazy the situation may be, I know you'll never judge me, and I know I can always count on you. Thank you for being a friend, my very best friend.